At the beginning of August, WEAKNESS was sitting at a solid five tracks, and while I was really happy with the little stories I told throughout, I also felt like there was less of me in them than I wanted. I’m a very partner-oriented person, almost to a fault, and if I’m not careful, I give up a lot of myself in relationships to make sure the person I love is happy.
So it became urgently important—vital—to start and end this little baby album, this journey through things I kept out of my music for too long, with little bite-size pieces that honor myself. Yes, this is a collection of love songs, but the stories are things I lived with all these different people I loved. The common thread is me, and I can’t let myself leave that out of a project like this.
As a sometimes-female, mostly-fem person, I’ve spent a lot of my life learning to minimize my stories and my struggles and myself, often at the expense of my own creativity, artistry, and success. I’ve had too many music teachers who deride Taylor Swift and Rihanna for singing about love and sex, hidden under the guise of “their music’s just not that good.” So I interspersed little bits and pieces of these stories in the music beyond the words—field recordings from Tempe, from Los Angeles, from San Jose, and from Denver make appearances in WEAKNESS as tributes to the loves I found, cultivated, and lost or transformed along the way. The recordings from this album span four partners or almost-partners and countless could-have-been loves, making WEAKNESS a true chronicle of myself—the side of me almost nobody else gets to see.
this is how it ends is available for listening on Bandcamp.