I’m Launching a Patreon!

Hello, friends!

I’ve been sitting on these plans for months now, and I’m so excited to finally share them with you. Over the past year, I’ve been floored by the willingness of friends, family, peers, colleagues, and near-strangers to support my art in all its different forms. That support, whether emotional, financial, or professional, has enabled me to reach new heights and produce work I couldn’t even have conceptualized not so long ago. In just two years, I’ve put out a significant amount of work about sexual assault and rape culture. My understanding and use of extended techniques has grown, but I still enjoy mixing them in with more “normal” sounds for a new blend of timbres. I’m braver and more authentic as a performer and artist. I’m so proud of how far I’ve come during my MFA, and even though I know this is just the beginning, it’s a little crazy to believe it’s even real.

As I leave academia (at least, the student side of things) and start bringing my artmaking practices fully into the professional sphere, I’m looking for ways to not only ensure I keep creating new work but get it into the hands and headphones of people who might not always be able to see it performed live. I’ll be rolling these out as they wink into existence, and the first platform I’m adding to my creative portfolio is my Patreon page.

Those of y’all who are familiar with Patreon can skip this paragraph, but if you’re new to the platform, Patreon is a way to centralize my artistic community—artmakers and audiences alike—and for Patrons (that’s you) to receive exclusive content, early access to new releases, and other goodies related to the work I do and the topics I address. The perks are akin to what you might find on Kickstarter or Indiegogo, but the structure is more like a Walkathon (except I only walk one lap a month instead of running twenty-five in an hour). Instead of putting a bunch of money toward one big, specific project, you throw me a couple bucks every month, which helps me by giving me time to create more stuff. To put it another way, every $15 in pledges buys me another hour I can spend on music instead of working a day job (and there will be many day jobs).

Okay, now that you know how things work, I’m sure you’re wondering: what the heck (or other epithet of your choice) will you give me in return that you don’t already? Well, dear reader, you get a few things. I’m committing to running a monthly newsletter for my Patrons, which will keep you up to date on all things music; access to Patron-exclusive Q&As I’m planning to hold once or twice a year; exclusive behind-the-scenes footage, photos, and recordings of rehearsals and works-in-progress (I’m super excited about doing this, btw); extra mini-blogs and transcriptions of the Misogyny Mondays I’ve been running over on Instagram for a few weeks now; early access to new scores and recordings, including newly-available commissions; a free copy of Take What You Want; and your name in a place of honor on my website (which… you know… you’re staring at right now). You can choose one of the three subscription tiers based on what perks you want and/or what commitment works best for you, but no matter which one you pick, if you sign up by 11pm on Sunday, May 26th, I’ll create and record a little improvisation and send it to you and you alone. (I am seriously happy to do as many of these as is necessary. I will sit in front of a camera all day so y’all can have good improvs.)

On the fence, for one reason or another? That’s okay! If you’re unsure (or, like a lot of folks, are in a financial “not right now” sort of place), watch this space. The blog posts will keep coming—I’ve got an ideas list a mile long—and from time to time, I’ll drop in a snippet of something I post on my Patreon, whether it’s a post or a little behind-the-scenes action. If you see things you like, consider joining us over there. The one thing I will say is that if you’re looking for a way to support my Letters work but aren’t in a position to commission a piece, perform a work, or come see a show, this is a really great opportunity not only to contribute to the project’s continuation but to influence the topics and nuances I explore within it.

I’m really looking forward to interacting with my Patrons in a collaborative way on top of my usual creative output. If you’re interested, you can check out this little video I made about it below:

I can’t wait to see you all on Patreon! Until then, take care. ♦

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Recital in Review: face the mirror and its process

Hi, all!

Wow, what a crazy first half(ish) of the semester. I’m spending the weekend sleeping extra and getting back on a somewhat normal schedule for, well, everything. I’m still a little shocked that I spent two months working hard on an intense show about sexual assault and victimhood and somehow it worked. We had a great run last Sunday—my dancers were superhuman and my chops were happy with me—and now I’m diving deep into footage, thinking critically about the next steps for face the mirror. I’d really love to take it on the road in California and the Southwest, so if your school or venue wants to host a night or two, give me a shout. For the time being, though, I just want to take a few moments and expound a little on what this show means to me and how it came into existence.

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From act 3 of face the mirror. Photo by Eric DeJarnett.

Continue reading Recital in Review: face the mirror and its process

that girl onstage isn’t me

Tomorrow night, I take the stage to bare a piece of my soul.

Mine, and a thousand others’.

Tomorrow night, I take the stage with a little fire in my feet and a spark in my eyes and I bring the world into a story I might’ve told a hundred times by now. I bring the world in, and I shut myself out.

You see, that girl onstage isn’t me.

Sure, she wears my face and laughs and cries like I do. She carries with her the same sense of wonder, the same reactions to old wounds made new again. She lives a story that is rich and complex and devoid of the words I’d choose to write for myself. Her experiences shape her, ever so subtly, in different ways than mine shape me. Sometimes they look the same, outwardly—she falls to the floor at all the same times that I probably would—but her motivations, her qualms, her relationship with herself is dramatically different.

Continue reading that girl onstage isn’t me

Tell Me About Your Score

Hi! This isn’t an interview, and you’re not really here (though where you’re reading this, technically you’re here and I’m not), so I can’t ask you to sit down or offer you a glass of water. You won’t be getting a job today, but you do care about this outcome. Maybe you paid money to be here, to put your work in front of me, or maybe you didn’t. Maybe I offered to look at it and consider it for free. Either way, you’ve left me alone with your work to decide if I’m going to use it or not.

Continue reading Tell Me About Your Score

CalArts Brass and the Pursuit of What’s Missing

Honestly, performers can have a really hard time choosing grad schools.

I say that as a composer and composer-performer who’s always had way too many things to think about when it came to school choices. During my undergrad auditions, I managed to piss off an interviewer at a school that will remain unnamed because I insisted on continuing to play my instrument as I continued my composing. (They didn’t accept me. This was not a surprise.) Yet as I’m starting to look toward the final semester of my MFA, it stymies me that so many teachers request or insist that their students focus on one thing and one thing only. I was incredibly lucky at Arizona State to have not one but four composition teachers who supported my performative endeavors, and that streak has continued at CalArts. But as my performance-major friends look at grad schools and doctoral programs, often they’re only focused on one thing: the teacher.

Continue reading CalArts Brass and the Pursuit of What’s Missing

We Don’t Report

My brothers and sisters and siblings and I, we have been violated. We have been attacked and groped and touched intentionally and carelessly and recklessly. Our attackers may know what they did to us; all the same, they may have forgotten entirely, relegated us and our pain to the insignificant past. We have been hurt beyond all telling. And we don’t report.

Continue reading We Don’t Report

Commission Season: I’m Looking for Collaborators!

As we move into the fall semester (or quarter, if you’re weird like that), I’m happy to announce I’m accepting commissions for Fall 2018 and Spring 2019. I’ve had a fantastic time working with individuals and groups this year, including the Spring View Middle School Jazz Band, Failsafe Duo, Willis Dotson, John Pisaro and Ian Stahl, and Oakwood Brass. That said, something I’ve come to realize is a lot of my friends, peers, and colleagues are interested in commissioning new works but don’t necessarily know how to approach the process. I can’t and won’t speak for all composers, but these are the most important things to know if you’re interested in working with me.

Continue reading Commission Season: I’m Looking for Collaborators!

A Manifesto? (otherwise known as An Intro to My Creative Practice)

Hello, friends! I hope this finds you well.

I’ve spent much of the past week reflecting on my experiences at the Rafael Méndez Brass Institute and getting back into the daily grind. I had such a great time getting to know everyone at RMBI, but it’s dawned on me that as someone who actively identifies as both a composer and a performer, I don’t talk as coherently about my creative practice as many of my new friends do. To be completely honest, I’m a little envious—from the outside looking in, it seems nice to be able to start by saying “I do this” and then getting more specific instead of explaining that you do two or three or five different things and having to elaborate on each one. I’ve also realized that I haven’t at any point sat down and written out how I describe and view my own work. (Grad school application essays don’t count.)

Generally, I dismiss myself pretty quickly. I tell people that I try to marry traditional technique and tonality with experimental idioms, and that’s true. Making weird things accessible to audiences regardless of their musical background is and always will be a priority. Even still, there’s so much more to my writing and performing than “it sounds a little weird but also sort of normal.” There are facets of my creativity I haven’t talked about very much. So this post has two objectives: to introduce myself a little more thoroughly to my friends (new and old, musicians and non-musicians) and help define for myself how I frame my creative practice.

Continue reading A Manifesto? (otherwise known as An Intro to My Creative Practice)

A CalArts Year in Review: Part Two

Over the past year, CalArts has allowed me to learn at my own pace while providing countless opportunities I wouldn’t get elsewhere. That said, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Like every school, CalArts has serious downsides it needs to address. I can’t speak as much to programs and events outside the music school, but even within HASOM (the Herb Alpert School of Music), there are significant issues that require more management than students or faculty are capable of providing individually. And sometimes, the administration’s what’s causing the problems. So buckle in, everyone. This one’s long.

♦♦♦

Let’s start with my favorite part of every school: the Title IX office.

Continue reading A CalArts Year in Review: Part Two

April Performances (and other adventures)

Friends,

What a month it’s turned into! April is shaping up to be action-packed in more ways than one. Because I’m about to plunge into a bunch of different performances, I thought I’d take a moment to highlight a few of them here:

Continue reading April Performances (and other adventures)